


sparking opposite ends

by pendules



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-20
Updated: 2011-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-18 10:09:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/187779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendules/pseuds/pendules
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark tries to figure some things out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	sparking opposite ends

The thing is, Mark's life wasn't supposed to be this complicated. Yeah, maybe eventually he'd ended up in a place that somewhat resembled what he'd imagined (okay, it's quite a bit more than he'd imagined, he has to admit), but he shouldn't be a twenty-four year old billionaire who has two lawsuits, an ex-best friend and a couple broken hearts in his past. (One of which was his, he'd probably realise if he thought about it long enough. He doesn't ever like to, though — he's afraid of what it might mean if he did figure it out.)

Sure, life is unpredictable. But Mark, Mark had always thought he'd avoid some of the messier aspects of it. He guesses that he really, really failed at that. Maybe he'd failed at more things than he'd ever cared to admit.

He wonders when it all went off track.

*

"Hi," the guy with the ridiculous eyes and the ridiculous hair says. "I'm Eduardo. And you're Mark, right?"

Mark probably wouldn't even look up, but his hair is really kind of distracting, the way it's bobbing up and down in his periphery.

He looks up to a curious gaze. He shakes the hand that Eduardo seems to have forgotten he'd extended.

"Yeah, I've seen you around at AEPi things and other stuff."

A slow smile spreads across his face, like he's relieved or something, and Mark mentally classifies that as ridiculous too. It seems almost too big for his face. Mark gives him half a smile in return, like he deserves it for effort.

He seems to take that as an invitation to sit down.

"I remember talking to you when you made CourseMatch. That was pretty cool. Are you working on anything else now?"

His eyes are really wide now, and it's not the kind of fake interest most of people show when they're trying to seem smarter or cooler than they are — it's genuine. And people don't just choose to have real conversations with Mark, mostly because of how closed-off he appears all the time or because he's quite simply a nerd who spends the majority of his time with a machine and who is entirely unconcerned about mundane things like appearance or social niceties.

He feels this weird need to impress Eduardo the first time, though, or at least show him he's not actually a robot.

"Oh, just the usual. World domination and all that."

Eduardo laughs, but it's not tinged with surprise or condescension or anything ambivalent. It's kind of nice. Really nice.

*

They get drunk after finals.

Eduardo seems to find everything Mark says a hundred times funnier in this state. He's sitting way too close as it is (even closer than usual), and he turns his head to laugh into Mark's shoulder, almost his entire body weight leaning against him. He feels warm and pliant and soft and solid all at once. Mark's hand gets pressed against his side, fingers grasping at the smooth material of his shirt. Eduardo's still breathing, hot and heavy against his neck, but then there's suddenly a complete silence.

Mark's drunk enough to be even more honest than usual, which is why he breaks it by saying, "I want you." Loud, like it's a declaration. He feels he should be surprised at himself for voicing the thought, but he really isn't. It feels _right_ , somehow.

"Jesus, Mark," Eduardo says, lifting his head to look at him.

But then he laughs a little again, slightly incredulous or fucking _shy_ or something, and then he's shifting and rising, so that his mouth ends up against Mark's ear instead.

"I want you too," and it's much softer than Mark had said it, more like a secret.

Mark thinks he gets hard from that alone.

The first kiss is really gentle, even though Eduardo is apparently really, really eager when drunk (or in general, maybe), practically climbing into Mark's lap after that, pulling him so close that they're pressed together _everywhere_ , and Mark's never, ever felt anything like that before.

They just stay there for a while, kisses turning more heated but still familiar and — safe. Then Eduardo pulls away slowly.

"We should, uh, probably continue this elsewhere. I mean, if you want to," he finishes, leaning back a little to look at Mark properly.

Mark reaches up to kiss him again before he says, "Okay."

 

Afterwards, they just lie next to each other, their breathing gradually falling back to normal. Mark feels Eduardo look across at him, but he doesn't say anything or try to hold his gaze.

Eduardo sits up a few minutes later, reaching for the shirt at the foot of the bed.

"I — uh, I should go. My flight's early in the morning. I have to, uh, pack and stuff."

Mark doesn't look at him, keeps staring at the ceiling. "Yeah. Right."

He turns around after he's struggled back into his pants and shoes in the dark. Mark finally tilts his head upwards to see his silhouette against the light coming in around the edges of the door.

"Have a good summer, Mark," he says, slightly hesitant but almost tender.

"You too, Wardo."

 

They don't talk about it again.

*

Kirkland feels like a world away when they're standing in a corridor in Palo Alto with an ocean-sized divide between them. Their words are doing nothing to help cross it. In fact, they're pushing them further apart.

Mark gets a glimpse of the inevitable then. He knows they're not heading anywhere good, but he's not sure what he'll do about it when the time comes. He just wants it to stop, right here. He just wants to freeze this moment, with Eduardo an arms-length away, and maybe he's soaking wet and angry and _he's not understanding_ — but Mark needs his best friend. It's the first time he's really considered him as such, apart from passing thoughts and casual remarks that didn't mean anything. Mark needs him here. Of course, he _wants_ him too. And it's a fine distinction to make, but Wardo knows the difference too. He knows it because he was there that night and he remembers all of it, but he's been ignoring it; he went to New York to get away from it, but at the same time, he was away from _Mark_. And Mark never wanted that, even if he'd tried to ignore it too.

It's the first time he thinks about leaving Eduardo. Leaving him behind. The first time since they met. Because Eduardo tried to do that first.

"I want — I _want_ — I need you out here."

Wardo knows the difference, but he doesn't hear that part.

"What did you mean, get left behind?"

*

They're staying at the same hotel. Mark didn't even have to hack into any databases to find that out. He finds out in the most direct way — by running into him. Eduardo's eyes go really wide when the elevator doors open, but there's no other visible reaction. Mark isn't sure what he expects. He gets in, and they don't say anything for the entire ride down.

Eduardo steps out first, and Mark just watches him move further and further away from him. He thinks if he believed in signs, this would be one. Or maybe there had been a lot over the years, and he'd just never picked up on them.

 

He swallows a mouthful of wine quickly, before he goes over to him.

He doesn't think about it before he grips Eduardo by the elbow, apologises to the small group he's chatting with, and half-drags him to the most secluded corner of the room he can find.

"Mark, what are you _doing_?"

"I need to talk to you," he says, quickly, looking directly at him. A look of concern flits over his face for a second before it's replaced with suspicion. Or curiosity, maybe.

"I need to talk to you, and I can't do it _here_. And I just. I need." He stops. This isn't the conversation he's supposed to be having. That one had ended years ago. And Mark doesn't need Eduardo anymore; he hasn't for a long while. But there is, and there's always been, this other thing. This other thing that started when they first met, leaning against the wall at AEPi, halfway to drunk, Mark rattling off gibberish about code and Eduardo smiling and nodding along — and culminated with this surprise, accidental meeting. Mark feels like everything he wants is an arms-length away, and all he has to do is...reach out and take it. This time, he decides he's going to try.

Eduardo's face softens, as if he's remembering (regretting) something too.

"Okay, let's... Let's talk."

 

Eduardo hovers near the door, while Mark tries and fails to not pace the width of the room a few times. When he stops and turns around, Eduardo has his arms folded, but it makes him seem _smaller_ instead of intimidating — it's like he's trying to protect himself from something. He doesn't look exasperated, just kind of tired and sad around the eyes.

"You wanted to talk," he says, evenly.

Mark takes a few steps forward.

"I miss you," he says, simply.

"Mark, it's been three years." It's just slightly testy, but mostly kind of gentle and sorry.

"And have you moved on?"

"Mark, it's not about that. I can't do this — I can't do this with _you_ anymore." His arms fall to his sides now.

"I hurt you, I know. But that was...that was different. I didn't know what was important then. Really important."

"Was it worth it?" It's a harsh sort of whisper. He didn't know Eduardo's voice was capable of that. There's a bit of brokenness in there too that kind of hurts. Mark wonders if this is the one answer he's been wanting to know all this time.

Mark doesn't say anything. He just looks at him until Eduardo seems to register that he's already given him that answer. His lips part for a second, but then he just nods and he walks away again.

It's the best he could have hoped for.

*

He doesn't remember ever thinking about being alone.

But he is now. And that's the worst part.

*

He doesn't hang up. That has to be a good sign.

"I can't remember the last real conversation we had."

"Mark."

"The hotel room doesn't count," he says, and he's sure of that now. Maybe sometimes you fail, but you get a do-over. Just one. _Please_ , he thinks. _Please._

"Okay," Eduardo says, eventually.

He lets out a little breath he didn't know he was holding, closes his eyes.

"I don't want to be alone anymore." And it's what he's meant all along, in between _I need you_ and _I miss you_ and the pauses he would use to calculate what he really wanted to say and the most efficient way to say it.

"It doesn't just...happen like this, Mark."

"Maybe none of this was supposed to happen. But it did. And I can't make all of it right. I can just...go from here. And I want you here. I want you now."

"You don't always get what you want, Mark."

"I know that, Wardo. I know that. But sometimes you have to let some things go and keep fighting for other things."

He hears Eduardo sigh on the other end.

"I keep thinking about that night...in the hallway. I should have done that. I should have listened. I shouldn't have given up on us."

"Have you though?" Mark's sure his voice sounds as apprehensive as he feels. He doesn't really care though.

"No, I don't think I have." Eduardo's voice is warm, surging with affection. Mark's pretty sure he's smiling. He can't help smiling a little too.

*

He asks a lot of questions now; Eduardo's gotten used to it. It's like he's trying to relearn him, like he's trying to be more attentive, trying to make that extra effort to connect their past and present, to connect _themselves_. Properly. Finally. Eduardo always indulges him.

"What did you want to be when you were little, Wardo?"

"I — I thought about studying meteorology for a long time, actually. I think that dream started when I was like eight years old and I used to watch the weathermen on TV. They always seemed really cheery, even when talking about hurricanes or whatever. I think I liked that. Or just the idea of talking about the weather for a living." He kind of chuckles at that. Mark can hear the nostalgia deep in his voice.

"Things don't always go as planned, do they?" he says, softly, and it's not really a question.

Eduardo kisses his shoulder lightly, says, "That's not always a bad thing."


End file.
